The idea of having a gap year if i don't get into my dream uni next year started to fill up my thoughts.
this. is. fucking. beautiful.
Mendengarkan sekaligus menikmati visualisasi video musiknya Jack Garatt yang satu ini bikin saya reminiscing sama jaman-jaman SMP dulu, waktu saya ikut lomba story telling provinsi. All my life people convinced me that i'm not photogenic dan selalu nggak kobe. Saya nggak ngenyangkal, sih, emang bener i always look awkward on photos and on real life. Entah itu dari sekedar gesture atau facial expression. Maybe that's what made me unchoosing theatre as my extraculicular, padahal dulu hampiiirrr banget masuk! Hahaha. Never ever i realized that i was accepted to compete storytelling, apalagi awalnya hanya karena dapet tugas storytelling tampil di depan kelas aja. I made it to top ten in province, actually.
It certainly was one of the best moment ever in my life. Facing my biggest fear, doing things i used to hate, succeed things i was afraid of, doing things what people told me i'm fucking not good at it. It was liberating. It was good. It was beautiful. It was great. Not only i did surprise everyone else, i surprised myself to experience one of the most beautiful thing in life; losing my fear.
So, what's your 'surpising yourself' moment?
She threw it up;
all of them.
Til there were just waters and acid.
She threw it up;
all of them.
Like they were all poison.
She threw it up;
all of them.
Though she felt pathetic and sorry.
She threw it up;
all of them.
Though her tears burst and her stomach hurt.
She threw it up;
all of them.
Cause their words are much more powerful than her love to herself.
She threw it up;
all of them.
Till there's nothing left.
Though she knew it was wrong.
She threw it up;
But still they never stop shouting.
