baru nonton eps terakhir grey's anatomy S3 dimana cristina dicampakin sama burke di altar then suddenlyyy i got this picture... end up with crying.
Despite all of their sayings about how Bandung is always gonna be everybody's home, i may be the one who wants to runaway, who's just too sick of their hypocrites, their lies and their mask.
I wish i could;
runaway
as far as i could;
thousands miles away.
I need a busier rhythm. Rhythm of work where we're just too busy to even care about each other's business or life. Too busy to even judge the others' mistakes.
I'm done with the city.
and the lies;
also the hypocrites.
I'm done af.
When i was like 9-10ish, i always imagined that i'm going to have a perfect teenager life. I'm going to have a (my type) boyfriend, i'm going to be a social-butterfly, i'm going to be the smartest in class, or i'm going to be a covergirl. Seriously.. haha. I DID told everyone that i want to be a Gadis Sampul when i was 10.
None of those happen. I used to have boyfriends, but none of them was really my type. But in my teenager phase i realize that we don't care about type when we fall in love. But still, until now, i do fantasize about having one who's really my type.
I'm way far than being a social-butterfly. I do have lots of friends, but small amount of bestfriends. I realized that i'm truly an ambivert, and i'm a socially awkward so... yep.
There's always someone smarter than us in class.
And perhaps i'm going to enroll myself to be a model if my height wasnt 155. Or if i didn't have as huge as a whale thighs. Or if i had an awesome hair. Or if i didn't let what the other says about myself made me down and so unconfidence.
I kept telling to myself "i'm sorry, 10-years-old-me, i may not having a perfect life of teenagers just like what you imagined. But i do have a great life. And i'm happy. Eventhough i have a huge thighs, or i'm a shorty, or i'm not as rich as my friends.. i'm happy. You, little kid, didn't understand that we live in probability. What we wish doesn't always get to be real, and what we have now will not always stay in the future."
Probability happens in everysecond of our lives. And Mr. P, i beg you to choose me to be one of those people who make their dreams come true. This time i'm no longer wishing or fantasize about a perfect adult life. I'm wishing for a greatness and happiness.
*watching nigella bites*
nigella: i'm gonna put a little bit heat into this.. so i'm using sambal oelek (re: oleg) from indonesia
me: oleg..? (she pronounced it that way)
nigella: they mashed the chilli, salt and the other spices with some traditional plate and masher
me: ahahahahaha mom you should know this woman wkwk she pronounced sambal ulek to be oleg!!!
