random: love-hate relationship dengan instagram

12:30 AM

no wonder  if TIME health & huffpost said instagram is the worst social media for people with mental health. we're forced to see perfect things; perfect skinny body, perfect white skin, perfect hair, #relationshipgoals, #nofilter filtered selfies, and other bunch of hashtags. instagram made us see only good, pretty, beautiful things that we try to dig in others' flaws, gak sadar kadang hal-hal kecil begitu yang bikin kita numbuhin kebencian di hati kita sendiri. we are, unconsciously, creating our own demons. comparing ourselves with those unrealistic standards. not letting ourselves to feel content. ignoring the fact that life itself is not full of pretty things. even for some people, life is already hell. 

late night thoughts


11:43 PM

Perhaps life itself is messy, complicated and exhausting. But, hey, it doesn't cost anything to imagine a beautiful one. Each of us have our own version of utopia. Mine would be:

be able to feel comfortable with my father.

late night thoughts

to enjoy it or to rush it?

10:47 PM

The fact that time flies so fast, both scares me and soothes me at the same time.

IT RUNS TOO FAST, JUST IN A BLINK OF AN EYE. Di twitter dan snapgram adik kelas gue isinya lagi pada heboh karena besok pengumuman SNMPTN. Shock banget karena udah pengumuman aja... berarti udah setahun sejak gue lepas dari SMA. It always seems like i just got here, kebingungan & figuring out my college life (masih figuring out sih sebenernya sampe sekarang). Secepet itu berlalu, tau-tau mungkin tanpa sadar gue ntar nulis di sini udah nyandang gelar sarjana ((HUHU semoga masih jadi calon sarjana hukum ya bukan sarjana danus!!))

BUT IT SOOTHES ME THOUGH. Artinya semua beban tugas, ujian dan kegiatan-kegiatan berikut kepanitian blackhole ini ujungnya bakal berakhir juga. Artinya bakal cepet libur. Cepet semester baru. Cepet nyelesain hal-hal yang belom diselesain.Cepet kuliah. Cepet lulus. Cepet kerja. Cepet settling down. Cepet nikah... mungkin?

Tapi, kenapa juga hidup harus cepet-cepet?

Time; what is it meant to be? To be enjoyed or to be rushed?


things she made him capable of

12:58 PM

It was a late night drive after the concert. Truth be told, he couldn't care less about the Tchaikovsky nor the Max Reger. He grew up listening to Muse and Red Hot Chili Peppers. Nonetheless, he didn't mind at all spending the whole night listening to not-so-his kind-of-music as long as she was there; and to know that she was very delighted.

"Thank you," she said, throwing a smile "i know it's not your cup of tea."

He blew his cigarettes out through the window and turned his head, "The music? Nope. But you are."

Her cheek faintly blushing. It's weird that they had been together for a while, yet she still find it's hard to control herself in front of him. The butterflies had never left, at all.

He stroked her hair gently while his other hand caught up with the steering wheel. "I have a theory about you."


"I believe you have been hiding a secret power."

She chuckled, "I wish i had one though, like the Sailormoon."

"Whoever Sailormoon is, i guess she or he doesn't have one like yours."

Still, his fingers were busy stroking her hair. Little did he know, it was her favorite gesture of him.

"Uh huh? What is it?"

"You make other people capable to do things. That's your secret power. I'd probably nonchalantly turn on my earphone during the concert, listening to Thirty Seconds to Mars or something; or fallen asleep; or worse, walked myself out-- if it were not because of you. I'd switch the radio station, if it were not because of you mumbling and enjoying those weird rap songs. I'd probably never pick Big Hero 6 over Interstellar on the cinema, if it were not because of you getting crazy over Baymax. I'd probably never have a willing to visit the museum we went last week, if it were not because of you; who happened to be a history junkie --and i wanted to make you happy.  Also.. I believe i wouldn't even dare to take the risk.. to share this very little space of my introverted self to anyone-- again, if it were not because of you.

You made me capable to do things. "

She smiled. 

"And i'm excited to see other things you'll make me capable of."