poem

Coney Island–Stillwell Avenue

7:52 PM



and they wondered what lies beneath this

after all these years

right in this Coney Island–Stillwell Avenue

thousands miles away from home

fate brought them back together

why?

music

unrequited love

7:00 PM





Sometimes you find yourself trying to let go of something
But it's like, you have been swimming on the ocean for a very very long time
And you feel like you belong there
You are one with the waves
The warmth of the water
And your body moves in sync with the ocean
And you swim around just trying to stay afloat
Then you get tired and you start to drown
And you swim back to land
When you get there you just feel so heavy because you lost touch with gravity for so long
And you collapse on the beach as you try to find balance again
And then your feet finds gravity
You stand up and you look at the horizon one last time
And you just know that no matter how beautiful the sea was
And how good it made you feel 
It was never yours to keep 
And somedays you'll miss it, you know
And you feel yourself moving with the waves and you dream of diving in
Then you realize your feet was meant for land
And not cut out for the ocean
Maybe you're meant to climb trees, or hike hills, or just run really fast
Letting go is not easy
There's nothing quite like swimming in the ocean
Just like how it's natural for your feet to find gravity
It's natural for you to let go
And find your true purpose in life again
The sea is the sea
And you are just you
I have to let go
But sometimes I find myself waking up at the beach again

--


Yuna; i've been recently listening to her songs lately. But this one--, this one is my favorite. Either the poem and the song were authentically just so brilliant or it's just me feeling so relate to them. It's Yuna's thing to read poem before she starts singing. I love her songs, her poems and her deep thoughts. What's not to love?

random

-

6:49 PM

Some people just don't deserve kids. Sounds mean? Yeah. Moreover, that comes from an 18 year old (not so) kid's mouth. What do i know about raising kids? None. What do i know about pregnancies, and some people's great effort for having kids? None. I may not have any single idea about all of it, but i certainly knew that the angkot driver i jumped in yesterday was an asshole for cussing his 7-ish kid with words like 'anjing', 'goblok', 'bangsat' angrily to him, leaving him terrified. It hurts my feeling that the kid looked so terrified seeing how his father was so tempered, how he was indirectly taught to cuss, how he had to be called with those words by his parents, how he wasn't even being heard, how her mother made it worse by spanking his butt, and how he was so unlucky to live in an unhealthy family condition like that. Some people just don't deserve kids.

dreams

s c a r e d

11:31 AM

So, littleature, i supposed to be in school right now. Seharusnya hari ini gue ikut pemantapan menjelang USBN and the other shitty exam prep stuffs. Did i mention that it's D-24 ujian effing nasional? Yes. 24 more days. Dan H-3 USBN. Shoot. I guess i'm just unlucky, karena tahun ini angkatan gue kebagian ngerasain USBN. Hari senin nanti gue akan ujian agama dan geografi, which i'm not well-prepared for. Bahkan sekadar atensi untuk mikirin nasib nilai di ijazah gue gimana aja nggak ada sama sekali. I'm too stressed out for this. Gue lagi ada di tahap bodo amat sama semua ujian sekolah yang nggak ada ujungnya ini. All i care is SBMPTN, yang dimana sayangnya gue juga sedang berada di tahap jenuh untuk Inten. For God's sake why is it have to be this critical time sih?

Selama kelas 12 ini, gue berusaha membuang jauh-jauh semua harapan dan keinginan gue masuk jalur undangan alias SNMPTN. My already graduated friend, Thalita, also ask Rasyid and I the same thing. Lulus jalur undangan cuma boleh diliat as a bonus, while SBMPTN is your main goal. Sayangnya pemikiran itu berangsur-angsur pudar begitu ngeliat hasil TO gue makin kesini semakin turun. The highest i ever got was 51%, yang dimana setelahnya malah makin regresif hasilnya. Hahaha. Ada sebagian dari diri gue yang sangat berharap kalo gue lolos jalur undangan dan PPKB. Seeing the fact i'm not prepared enough for SBMPTN, i'm scared right now for that battle. Seeing the fact that i'm going to college this year, i'm scared...

I'm scared of lots of things. I'm scared of growing up, i'm scared of choosing wrong decisions, i'm scared of what comes after this, i'm scared of rejection, i'm scared of disappointment, i'm scared of my future, i'm scared of stepping forward, i'm scared of readjustment, i'm scared of ignorance, i'm scared of life...

but, aren't we all?