So, littleature, i supposed to be in school right now. Seharusnya hari ini gue ikut pemantapan menjelang USBN and the other shitty exam prep stuffs. Did i mention that it's D-24 ujian effing nasional? Yes. 24 more days. Dan H-3 USBN. Shoot. I guess i'm just unlucky, karena tahun ini angkatan gue kebagian ngerasain USBN. Hari senin nanti gue akan ujian agama dan geografi, which i'm not well-prepared for. Bahkan sekadar atensi untuk mikirin nasib nilai di ijazah gue gimana aja nggak ada sama sekali. I'm too stressed out for this. Gue lagi ada di tahap bodo amat sama semua ujian sekolah yang nggak ada ujungnya ini. All i care is SBMPTN, yang dimana sayangnya gue juga sedang berada di tahap jenuh untuk Inten. For God's sake why is it have to be this critical time sih?

Selama kelas 12 ini, gue berusaha membuang jauh-jauh semua harapan dan keinginan gue masuk jalur undangan alias SNMPTN. My already graduated friend, Thalita, also ask Rasyid and I the same thing. Lulus jalur undangan cuma boleh diliat as a bonus, while SBMPTN is your main goal. Sayangnya pemikiran itu berangsur-angsur pudar begitu ngeliat hasil TO gue makin kesini semakin turun. The highest i ever got was 51%, yang dimana setelahnya malah makin regresif hasilnya. Hahaha. Ada sebagian dari diri gue yang sangat berharap kalo gue lolos jalur undangan dan PPKB. Seeing the fact i'm not prepared enough for SBMPTN, i'm scared right now for that battle. Seeing the fact that i'm going to college this year, i'm scared...

I'm scared of lots of things. I'm scared of growing up, i'm scared of choosing wrong decisions, i'm scared of what comes after this, i'm scared of rejection, i'm scared of disappointment, i'm scared of my future, i'm scared of stepping forward, i'm scared of readjustment, i'm scared of ignorance, i'm scared of life...

but, aren't we all?