falling in love in 20s is no longer as fun as it was in my teenage years. those butterflies used to be so... beautifully exhilarating, dramatic, and compelling in a powerfully irresistible way. now it gives me anxiety, fear, and perplexity. nonetheless, the sparks still exist. safe to say that it's been a long time since the last time I've gotten the thought of somebody stuck in my head. part of me is consistently saying "do. not. fall" but there's always something keeping me drawn. and i don't like it. or maybe i do. well i don't want it. or maybe, i do.