1. re: stacks, rosyln, wash. - bon iver

kalo hidup gue tuh film, kayaknya lagu-lagunya bon iver bakal mendominasi jadi official soundtrack deh. nggak tau kenapa, selalu ada momen-momen penting dalam hidup gue yang bertepatan di saat gue lagi nyetel atau lagi seneng-senengnya sama lagu bon iver yang itu. gue pernah cerita salah satunya di post yang ini. re:stacks is for the one with the perfect stranger. sebagai seseorang yang mudah banget lupa (be it nama orang, muka orang, atau cerita orang 2 hari yang lalu), he and his eyes were pretty memorable. even after four frikkin years. rosyln is for the one when i found this big hole in my life right after somebody in high school broke my heart (yang kalo diinget-inget lagi nyesel how foolish i was back then). wash. reminds me of a particular moment where mama and i were having a deep conversation about life in my room, which i ended up burst in tears the moment she left 

2. flux - ellie goulding

this one reminds me of myself in 2019. i've said this a few times, 2019 was such a pain in the ass. tahun di mana gue ngerasa ditempa, hidup gue berat, mentally unhealthy, emotionally fragile, i broke down a few times, i lived in confusion and loneliness, i was battling my own self, deconstructing my own values and perspectives toward almost everything in my life, reevaluating things; what kind of person am i? what kind of person i wanna be? what i really value in a person. what i like and dislike. what i agree and disagree. things i want to pursue. things i'm looking for in a partner. things i decided to put in the past behind me. apa yang gue hargai dari diri gue sendiri. yada yada yada tahun self-realization gue lah menuju gerbang kedewasaan. anyway, lagu ini keputer di spotify di momen gue lagi berada di puncak capek+sedih banget terus kabur ke perpusat sambil nahan nangis di sepanjang jalan. everytime i listen to this song, i'd always remember that day, dan gue selalu ngerasa diingetin kalo tuh gue tuh kuat udah lewatin itu semua.

3. song for zula - phosphorescent

lagu ini muncul waktu late night drive keliling jakarta bareng aji & dida. ever since that time, lagu ini selalu bikin gue dramatisasi momen nyetir malem-malem. heheh

4. melebur semesta - sal

dengan syarat: versi soundcloudnya aja. waktu lagu ini pertama keluar jaman sma di soundcloud dan penyanyinya belum seterkenal sekarang (bahkan dulu belum jadi penyanyi, masih jadi seleb askfm), i sent this song to a special person and he sent me back with a voice note of him singing and playing guitar (yang ternyata dipost di soundcloud juga). lagu yang dinyanyiin buat kita tuh emang pasti hold close to our heart ya. music is indeed such a love language sih. i even consider ngirim link lagu ke orang lain-karena-kayaknya-dia-bakal-suka-lagu-ini as a sweet gesture. however due to our circumstances, this song left me with such bittersweet aftertaste.

5. you are in love - taylor swift

what a perfect song to fall in love, what a perfect song to remind me of december 6