i feel trapped.
This post would be random af but..
I love Cristina-Burke so much so when i watched Grey's Anatomy S3 and found out that Burke was proposing Cristina, i was like...
finally finally finally my fav couple is getting maried!!!
Terus tadi malem jadwal finale eps GA S3 kan... dan begitu beres nonton... berasa dumped abis. Tearjerking banget nggak paham.
"Cristina, I could promise to hold you, and to cherish you. I could promise to be there, in sickness and in health. I could say till death do us part. But I won't. Those vows are for optimistic couples, the ones full of hope. I do not stand here on my wedding day optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic. I am not hopeful. I am sure. I am steady. I'm a heart man. Take 'em apart, put 'em back together, hold them in my hands. I am a heart man. So this, I am sure. You are my partner. My lover. My very best friend. My heart. My heart beats for you. And on this day, the day of our wedding, I promise you this. I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands, I promise you... me."
PARAH. Wedding vow-nya Burke parah banget.....
Ga ngerti kenapa Burke bisa seromantis dan se-sweet itu... And if there's someone like him in real life, i hope that would be my future husband ha ha ha ngarep.
Tapi Grey's Anatomy emang tai banget. T a i karena endingnya Burke nyampakkin Cristina di altar. T a i karena Burke malah ngilang ninggalin Cristina, bahkan tanpa say goodbye. T a i karena Burke nggak muncul lagi di season 4. T a i karena udah bikin Cristina ancur. T a i karena alesan Burke batalin pernikahan karena alesannya to love is to let them free. T a i karena endingnya harus kayak gitu. T a i karena vow seromantis, sesweet itu akhirnya dumped. T a i karena udah bikin tearjerking.
Tai.
Preston: I'm up there waiting for you to come down the aisle and... I know you don't want to come. If I loved you, I wouldn't be up there waiting for you. I would be letting you go.
Cristina: I am wearing the dress. I'm ready. And, and maybe I didn't want to before. But I want to now. I really think I want this.
Preston: I really wish you didn't think. I wish that you knew.
:'(
So last weekend i had a short getaway trip to Anyer with my family (except Mba Yaya ofc lol because she's always too busy with her papers and co-ass life). However, it wasn't the best trip, but compared with lying on the couch all day, watching movies, with all those weekend kegabutan, i enjoyed my trip. By 'short getaway trip' i really mean s h o r t because we just spent 2 days and a night there. We arrived there around 10 and it was so hot... panas banget gaboong. And all of us were tired so we just laying in bed for hours and that evening, i decided to enjoy the pool and the beach, though i wasn't allowed to swim. Period sucks.
But the point is not about that i wasn't allowed to swim on my trip, it's about how i am finally going out of town.... :')
About the beach.. there was nothing special. Anyer beach didn't excite me at all. It wasn't private, because we could see the food traders around and some of them were so annoying for being pushy.
And there was a thing about the hotel that we stayed. ANGKER TERNYATA BO. Haha sialan!! We stayed in a great hotel, though it seemed old we have nothing to doubt of. So yep, when i done brushing my teeths, i place my toothbrush in a glass with the head upside. I took a shower that night and when i went back to the sink, my toothbrush position switched upside down. I thought i was misplacing it so i turn the head of the toothbrush up back. The next morning when i went to the bathroom for shower, i found my toothbrush position switched upside down again. Geez.
There were another. The minutes before i went to bed, i was trying to close the curtain of the balcony. It was kinda stuck so i gave up and sleep. But in the middle of midnight i woken up finding that the curtain was already closed perfectly. I was too sleepy to ask the others about it so i went back to sleep. And here is the creepiest part. The morning when my fam was enjoying water sports, i went back first to the hotel room to chillax. I heard knocks on the door but when i opened the door, nobody was there. Craaaapppp! I spontanously crazily ran out of the hotel room and went back to the beach; freaking out telling what happened to Mum.
And then i found out that the hotel we stayed was kinda haunted these past years... heard that there was happened a guest that suicide, jumping out from the 7th floor of the hotel. And guess what floor my hotel room was? 7th. Crap :'(
Here's a potato for you.
much luvvvvvvvvv!!!
baru nonton eps terakhir grey's anatomy S3 dimana cristina dicampakin sama burke di altar then suddenlyyy i got this picture... end up with crying.
Despite all of their sayings about how Bandung is always gonna be everybody's home, i may be the one who wants to runaway, who's just too sick of their hypocrites, their lies and their mask.
I wish i could;
runaway
as far as i could;
thousands miles away.
I need a busier rhythm. Rhythm of work where we're just too busy to even care about each other's business or life. Too busy to even judge the others' mistakes.
I'm done with the city.
and the lies;
also the hypocrites.
I'm done af.
When i was like 9-10ish, i always imagined that i'm going to have a perfect teenager life. I'm going to have a (my type) boyfriend, i'm going to be a social-butterfly, i'm going to be the smartest in class, or i'm going to be a covergirl. Seriously.. haha. I DID told everyone that i want to be a Gadis Sampul when i was 10.
None of those happen. I used to have boyfriends, but none of them was really my type. But in my teenager phase i realize that we don't care about type when we fall in love. But still, until now, i do fantasize about having one who's really my type.
I'm way far than being a social-butterfly. I do have lots of friends, but small amount of bestfriends. I realized that i'm truly an ambivert, and i'm a socially awkward so... yep.
There's always someone smarter than us in class.
And perhaps i'm going to enroll myself to be a model if my height wasnt 155. Or if i didn't have as huge as a whale thighs. Or if i had an awesome hair. Or if i didn't let what the other says about myself made me down and so unconfidence.
I kept telling to myself "i'm sorry, 10-years-old-me, i may not having a perfect life of teenagers just like what you imagined. But i do have a great life. And i'm happy. Eventhough i have a huge thighs, or i'm a shorty, or i'm not as rich as my friends.. i'm happy. You, little kid, didn't understand that we live in probability. What we wish doesn't always get to be real, and what we have now will not always stay in the future."
Probability happens in everysecond of our lives. And Mr. P, i beg you to choose me to be one of those people who make their dreams come true. This time i'm no longer wishing or fantasize about a perfect adult life. I'm wishing for a greatness and happiness.
*watching nigella bites*
nigella: i'm gonna put a little bit heat into this.. so i'm using sambal oelek (re: oleg) from indonesia
me: oleg..? (she pronounced it that way)
nigella: they mashed the chilli, salt and the other spices with some traditional plate and masher
me: ahahahahaha mom you should know this woman wkwk she pronounced sambal ulek to be oleg!!!
