This post is written based on my personal contemplation and experience during high school. Sekaligus jadi pesan buat adik-adik gue (yang technically gue gak punya sih wakakakak) dan anak gue nanti (masih lama sih sebenernya hmm tapi yasudahlah).

Ketika banyak orang bilang masa SMA adalah masa terindah dalam hidup, bagi gue itu nggak berlaku. As you know (i wrote this several times on my previous posts), my high school life sucks. High school life loh ya bukan high school-nya karena SMA 2 is no less than perfect (berjayalah sepanjang masaaa~~). Oke let's start it. Semester satu sampai tiga merupakan masa yang beraaattt banget. Bisa dibilang, selama itulah gue berproses untuk adjust sama kehidupan SMA yang serba baru, serba beda, serba keras. Some of you might think aelah sekeras apa sih hidup anak SMA?. Tapi nyatanya emang berat dan keras banget, cui. Serius. Di masa SMA, gue 'terbentur' sana sini.

High school: it's all about friendship, love, ambition, passion, and values.

Di masa SMA, gue mulai mencari tau siapa orang yang sebenarnya kawan, lawan, atau kawan yang sebenarnya lawan. I found the truest, the meanest, the funniest, the richest, the uniquest, the toughest, the frenemy, the fake ones, and the real ones here. Things they said about how your friends might be not your bestfriends is true. I have several circles of friendship. But the real bestfriends i can count is actually no more than a dozen. Ada temen yang emang enak cuma buat diajak have fun, temen buat ngopi ngopi, temen buat belajar, temen buat berbagi hobi tapi ga enak buat jalan, temen yang enak buat jalan tapi ga bisa diajak sharing, dll. Get over it. You can never expect somebody to be somebody you wanted to be. Gak usah expect mereka buat selalu ada untuk kita. The realest one is always there even you didn't ask them to be. And when you find one, treasure it. The bravest thing i've ever done in high school was cutting some people off who brings negativity into my life. Some brought me misery, brought me into major insecurities, brought me into other things i didn't want to. And yep, that taught me that your friends aren't always going to be your friends.

I went through several loves and heartbreaks. Unrequited love, unhealthy love, and some idk-if-it's-love loves. It feels so good to fall in love. It once felt like everything. But in fact, it is NOT. It's just a thing. It's just a lil piece of thing that brings you both happiness and sadness. Gue ngerasain bagaimana ~cinta~ bisa membuat gue merasa jadi orang yang paling bahagia di dunia, tapi pernah juga membuat gue merasa nggak jauh beda sama sampah.  I wish i could say this to me several years ago; fall. but don't fall too hard. feel. but don't get too overwhelmed. don't expect. it comes when it less expected. don't take it seriously. NEVER take it seriously. most of the chance it's not going to be long lasted. dan yang paling penting: love. smartly. or you'll regret some things.

Oh and you know what? High school is a bunch of hard works. Everything is just too much. Not just the friendship and the love, but mostly it's about ourselves. It's a hard work to find the real us. Gue dan teman-teman di sekitar gue (menurut observasi gue sih kalo ini) merasakan hal yang sama: terombang-ambing. We tried to find balance in everything. We tried to find the gray side of all the blacks and whites. Kerja keras untuk bilang 'nggak' untuk hal yang kita nggak suka tapi orang-orang suka. Untuk bilang 'iya' pada sesuatu yang kita suka, despite of others judgement and hatred, atau bilang 'iya' karena nggak mau missing out aja.. Untuk ikut yang lain minum atau enggak. Untuk belajar di kelas sampe suntuk atau cabut bareng yang lain. To party or not to party. Untuk tau apa yang sebenarnya benar dan apa yang harusnya nggak dilakukan, because sometimes it feels right anyway. Untuk memilih sesuatu berdasarkan apa yang benar-benar kita mau, bukan apa kata opini orang. Untuk sesekali egois demi kepuasan diri. Untuk ngejalanin hidup berdasarkan values yang kita miliki, meski harus bertabrakan dengan values orang lain. And the other 'to or not to's. Intinya, kerja keras untuk berani menjadi diri sendiri. Those things were our real homeworks. Screw math! Berjuang untuk lulus matematika, ekonomi, fisika dll di SMA itu bullshit. Just do the homeworks and the tasks, ujung-ujungnya lo pasti lulus juga. Tapi untuk lulus di 'mencari jati diri'... sampai sekarang gue masih bisa liat beberapa teman-teman gue masih struggling dalam hal ini.

Satu setengah terakhir masa SMA gue, untungnya, berakhir dengan baik. Beyond expected malahan. I was really happy, and i finally got a chance to love high school. I ended it with my great friends, great experiences, great bazaar (yuhuuu Darani Maneka!!!), great prom, dan hasil belajar yang baik juga. I had great, memorable, sweet moments, indeed. And i'm blessed for it; both the ups and downs.

So....

That's it. My version and my stories might be different with yours. Mungkin bagi lo masa SMA adalah waktu terbaik dalam hidup lo dan nggak setuju dengan statement gue di atas. Kalo iya, ya sukur lo nggak se-struggle gue. Again, gue bilang tulisan ini berdasarkan pengalaman dan pemikiran gue aja. Maybe high school are both best and worst part of our lives, no?

For you, soon-to-be-the-high schoolers... good luck! Enjoy it, as much as you can. Feel it. Survive it. And most importantly... live it :)

May the odds be ever in our favor!

High school pictures are soon going to be updated in this post! :p