There's one special thing about my childhood i will never forget: i happened to have the greatest bestfriend ever, Mbah Kakung.

I just got a chance to see 2 out of 4 of my grandparents. Mbah Sumi, nenek dari keluarga papa dan Mbah Kakung, kakek dari keluarga mama. Mbah Sumi and I weren't that close, we just met once or twice a year kalo lagi lebaran atau liburan aja. Tapi dengan Mbah Kakung, we happened to live under the same rooftop for several years sampai Mbah Kakung meninggal.

Mbah Kakung was a very sweet, kind, and thoughtful person. We were so close back then. I often slept on his bed. We used to watch soccer on tv together, though i didn't understand any single thing about soccer. Mbah Kakung shared his bed with me when i was overslept, he even comforted and soothed me down when i was scared in the middle of the night due to the cats' fight. I remembered i peed myself on the floor and Mbah Kakung was cover me up from my mom. Mbah Kakung loved me so much, and so did i. Apparently time flies and his health got worse, he barely walk meskipun udah pakai kruk. I remember that one time when it was just him & the-4th-grade-me. Mbah Kakung mau ke toilet dan kebetulan nggak ada orang dewasa yang bisa mapah Mbah Kakung buat jalan ke toilet. So there was I, helping him to walk, sambil ngeringis nahan bobotnya Mbah Kakung, nggak sanggup. I love him so much that i became so emotional watching him getting old and weaker. All i could think was i need to be strong for him since i was the only person he can depend on that day.

Mbah Kakung had a stroke and survived diabetics for 10 years. He went a lot of critical times when i was in the 5-6ish grade. Mbah Kakung lebih banyak istirahat dan punya 'temen' baru sendiri sejak itu, Suster Gita dan Bibi. Mbah Kakung even got trouble with talking that he can't speak properly. Mbah Kakung bahkan sempat lupa cara sholat. My heart hurt so much seeing him in pain.

Our last meeting wasn't going well. I was hurrily preparing stuffs for mudik on the second day of Idul Fitri that i forgot to say goodbye to Mbah Kakung when i was left. And the biggest mistake of mine was having thoughts that 'ya udah deh, nanti juga ketemu lagi sama Mbah'.

I never had that chance.

Mbah Kakung passed away the night right after we arrived in Slawi. When i heard of it, my heart explode. It burst. It was broken. It tore apart into pieces

My bestfriend just had gone forever, and i didn't have a chance to say goodbye for the last time.

As i'm writing this post, tears are streaming through my eyes. The pain and the regrets still exist, sampai sekarang.

... I miss him so much.

Mbah Kakung; he was the sweetest childhood memories of mine that i treasured. He is forever my bestfriend and i'm glad to have spaces for him in my heart.